is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My ass is underappreciated
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
His nipple licking is glorious
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