went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
