I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hippo gnu deer
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
