Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Randomize
