im holly from the hills drunk
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
