that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
