I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
