what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
