If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
My vagina just recognized that song.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She bit a glass in half.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
