Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
