Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
