Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
