so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
