i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
