I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
