I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
