I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
