it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I need water and some morals
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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