Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
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