I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
