great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
