Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
