Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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