wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
