I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
