I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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