Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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