I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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