I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
