How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
