got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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