so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
