I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
