If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
