Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
