i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
