Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
