im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
