Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
