I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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