yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
