Im at strip club and am horny
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
