i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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