This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
