Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize