whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
