And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Never underestimate the power of titties
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
