were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
