Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize