are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
