So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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