Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
