mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's blow job season.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
