My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
