I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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