take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
