hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I have post one night stand depression
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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