D3 body, D1 cock
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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