God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
