Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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