Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize