It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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