I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
