when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
