Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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