I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
