HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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