I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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