Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize