There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
