9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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