I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize