Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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