She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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