What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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