spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I think people are normalizing furries
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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