I bet he comes in French.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
