everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize