dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize