She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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