i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Your penis caused this!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
